There is way out of suffering...

Yes, it's called amnesia.

Impermanence

For some reason I am always pulled back to this noble truth. I guess it's because it's everywhere around me. Today I found another grey hair, for instance and a photo of myself when I was younger. I've feel that I've changed a great deal from that time, emotionally, physically, psychologically.

I'm planning my mother's 70th birthday and I've been talking to her friends and our family about it and it really struck me just how old they all are. I mean, I'm sitting here thinking about accessibility and wheel chair access for some of them! How things have changed! In fact, one of the couples my mother invited, she asked me not to call because one of them is dying of cancer. It's reached his brain and she'd like to issue the invitation herself.

My Oma, she just turned 102. That's absolutely amazing! But her mind isn't there anymore really. Well, we can't know. And of course, at 102, the human body is so frail. Everything, I mean everything eventually catches up to it.

And last night, while searching for an old childhood friend on the internet I ran across the obituary of her father, Ross Trant. All I could remember was him teaching me how to speak egg-talk. Time flies.

Did the Buddha ever mention why the speed with which time passes increases as we age though? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if we had the same perception of time that we had as children. Everything took forever back then - even when we were having fun.

Skandhas

I am a very well conditioned being. I fall into my patterns so easily. In fact, I've even let my meditation practice slip away again. But now I'm much more aware of my habits, my escapism, procrastination and why I do those things. But I can see that permanent change can't happen quickly. It takes years to decondition oneself. For instance the year of psychotherapy I did was fantastic. It worked and I became much more insightful and self-aware. That's only the first steps though. Because once that work stopped I started slipping into some of my own patterns again. This is the pull of my humanity, I suppose. At least now I'm aware and I can't be hijacked by those habits without consenting.

The Eightfold Path and the Healing Arts

For some reason I've been thinking about the eightfold path and it's relation to the healing arts - medicine and psychology. In class we've discussed buddhists monks who've strayed far from the path, not realizing the hidden motivations behind their spiritual practice as a vehicle for self-punishment, ego enhancement or whatever the case can be. By the same token I seem to encounter a lot of professionals in medicine and psychology who's motivations seem to diminish their work, in my eyes. Of course, that's me placing my own perspective on them but at the same time it appears that these people I speak of have chosen their profession out of a desire for money or prestige and not out of a genuine desire to help people who are suffering. And unfortunately, it's very very apparent to me. I don't think they're so good at placing their professional veil on that their patients don't sense this incongruent motivation, this lack of sincerity.

I've encountered it with some of my own doctors, with psychologists who behave as though someone elses trauma is some juicy piece of meat for them to chew on. I even had one friend who is a psychoanalyst state that he's in it for the creative aspect. He then went on to mention a patient he recently took on, who was on self-destructive path and had witnessed some of his own family being decapitated. He spoke of the case with a zest and enthusiasm. It disgusted me actually, he seemed almost leech-like in his presentation. His patient was some messed-up labyrinth, there for him to pry open and unravel so that he might quench his thirst for creative exploration and hell - make a living off of it! UGH.

So, with regards to the Eightfold path, Buddhism and Psychology. I can see one area where I might prefer a proper Buddhist technique - and that's where a Buddhist might see a patient as a whole, worthy person and not just a collection of pscyhotic disorder to be dissected. And perhaps those in these fields with a mind to help people instead of solely for the purpose of making money.

Impermanence Again

Interesting. A few weeks ago I saved a baby sparrow. Found in out of it's nest on the sidewalk, cute, all beak. I walked around with it trying to find someone with a ladder so I could put it back in it's nest. I finally had to walk all the way home, where my landlord provided me a ladder. Then I walked on back, climbed the ladder and placed him in the nest. The last several weeks I've taken comfort knowing the bird was there in the nest - as I could hear the chirping every time I passed by.

Then yesterday, in a different part of the city I came across a dying sparrow. It was suffering, possibly hit by a car. It seemed wrong to let it sit there on the sidewalk dying on the cold cement. So, I picked it up gently and placed it in the nearest greenspace I could find, a plantar with some bushes and a tree. It died shortly after.

Truly, that was two phases of life - the beginning and the end. And for some reason I was witness and aide to both.

Encounters with various Buddhist Principles

Impermanence

Friend works with Liberal Party, they just underwent a cabinet shuffle. She was wondering whether she'd have a job at the end of it. They just switched portfolios.

Parents - they're aging is very apparent.

Other friends - moving, having babies, breaking up relationships. All at once. The Buddha never seemed to account for why a lot of change happens in clusters. I'm curious.

Loving Compassion

Saved a baby bird the other day. All I needed was to borrow a ladder so I could stick it back in its nest. I was very surprised by how reluctant people were to help. Some were even nasty to me when a simple, "Sorry, I can't" would have sufficed. But I found someone to lend me a ladder, so it's all good.

Trying friends. Somehow I have amassed a few friends who annoy me. I do my best to just be understanding and tolerant. Then again, I have to be compassionate to my own need for sanity. So I don't spend as much time with them as I used to.

Right Speech

It's kind of interesting that this is a part of the eight-fold path when I had already been thinking along these lines two years ago. I actually ended a friendship over the issue because I could no longer tolerate my friend consistently verbalizing his anger and hatred towards others.

The first time I spoke thoroughly about the issue was with some West Indian friends who were
running around using the word, "Nigga" with each other. It was in a counter-culture, play with language, affectionate way but it really bothered me. I myself was guilty, when hanging out with my friends of using the term, "Niggeritis". Basically, in present day it's just a reference for the lack of energy one experiences after consuming a large meal. The historical meaning however, was derogatory. During the years of slavery, often only one, very starchy meal was served to slaves. Afterwards the slaves would experience a drop in their sugar levels and that would affect their ability to work. They would often be beaten for their sluggishness, or deemed, "slow" and "lazy".

So I let them know tt bothered me because for the rest of the world "Nigga" sounds too much like, "Nigger" which still has derogotory, hateful connotations to it. So, I just told my friends that they should think about how they're using language because it isn't really helping them. Most other people don't understand what they're trying to accomplish and so they're just spewing a lot of negativity. For anyone who's family has been subject to slavery and racism they are recalling a lot of painful memories. I asked, "Is it really neccessary?" And since that time I have stopped using the term, "niggeritis". I'm not going to be putting negative energy into the world through my words.

Now I just have to work on some of my thought patters.