Follow the teachings, not the teacher

The paths that lead me to take NEW232 and NEW431 is long and multidimensional. I am, inherently, a sceptic and a humanist but I am also spiritual. I was brought up as a Christian in the High Anglican tradition, but I have always been surrounded by a multitude of faiths. It was at the age of 12 that I stopped attending my church for the simple reason that my religion did not leave room for the kindest people I knew, my Ismaili friends. Somehow, I couldn’t fathom why they wouldn’t be included in the Kingdom of Heaven. At least, in Islam, my sacred Jesus was recognized for his good works as a prophet. It all seemed non-sensical so I just stopped. Since that day I have always harboured at once a curiosity and animosity towards organized religion. For a long time Tibetan Buddhism was the only organized religion that I felt an affinity to. Unfortunately, they too had a long history of sexism which prevented me from giving Buddhism any serious thought.

In later years, I picked up a position as a receptionist at a Yoga centre that specialized in teacher training, ICYAS. It was a start-up operation run by someone I thought to be a bona fide Yogi. It quickly became apparent that his business ethics and personality were not in alignment with the spirituality appropriate to a Yogi. Within two days, he had started a fight with the downstairs business owner, he had several “temper tantrums” and kept on complaining that there were too many women signing up for his teacher training classes. “Yoga,” he spat, “is traditionally the domain of men.” Further, he also kept on pumping me for information trying to find an “in” with the University of Toronto. He wanted to oust the instructors who were already teaching yoga through Hart House and the Athletic Centre. He must have registered my growing distrust because about two weeks after hiring me he let me go, only to be replaced by a woman who knew little English. To make matters worse I had to chase him down to get paid for the work I had done over those two weeks. It took a month and a half before he finally cut me a cheque, and that was after I had lodged a complaint with the Better Business Bureau.

Finally, Buddhism was again brought to my attention by my aunt who suffered her own mental health issues. She started but never completed her Masters in Psychology. Unfortunately, she most often spoke of her readings into Buddhism when deeply unwell, harping on the concepts of compassion, as a means of manipulating those around her while completely ignoring the teachings regarding pain and negative emotion. Again, Buddhism was presented to me as a means of manipulation.

It wasn’t until I was dealing with my third bout of depression that I took a look, once again, at the teachings of the Buddha. The key, I felt, was to look at the content of his books and do my best to ignore the vehicle of delivery – whether that be via a teacher or practitioner. And also, taking out the more supernatural elements of the writings and focusing on what seemed tangible. So here I am, taking these two courses through New College. The journey will be interesting.