More on Follow the Teachings Not the Teacher

I've been reflecting more on some of my "issues". All these years I've been looking outside of myself for answers that would help me come to terms with myself, some of the traumatic experiences I've endured, meaning, and comfort.

As I've moved through my life it seems that those people I have looked to for guidance have always fallen short and seriously disappointed me; spiritual leaders, parents, teachers, therapists and employers. I do not doubt that some of these figures have held valuable lessons for me but
I am realizing now that there is little in their realm of knowledge that I could not discover myself. Worse, some of these so-called mentors tried to lead me down the wrong path!

Luckily, I seem to have an orientation to the world that has enabled me to function in this world
for the most part, along the eight fold path. I don't remember a time when I was not aware of impermanence. There was never a time that I didn't feel the pull of conscience that lead, for the majority of my life, to the paths of right action and right speech. Whenever I've been lead astray it's been due to emotional attachment to the wrong person. And often it's been due to my sense of compassion. Especially when I was younger, I did not know how to uphold my boundaries while still being compassionate. Repeatedly other people were able to manipulate my naivity in this area.

I still need to work in several areas in the eight fold path and I should work on forgiving myself my naivity. I may always be working on the boundaries issue, but now I know exactly what my problem is. And I need to stop looking outside of myself for answers. I know that a lot of that is within myself already. If I do need to gather information from others, I know exactly how and where to find it. My instincts will let me know if the source of the information is reliable.

And this by the way came on the heels of a yoga instructor not responding to my repeatedly mentioning a certain pose was aggravating my sciatica. I got fed up and decided to search for some answers myself. First thing - the pose is contra-indicated for those with sciatica. Luckily, there are other poses which will help to heal the area or that I can do alternatively.

Once again, my so-called "teacher" did not respond. Once again I found the answer myself.

Lucky me I'm so bloody stubborn!!!